Is There Hope For My Doubts?
“24 Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” – John 20:24-25 (NIV)
I wonder whether you’ve ever felt left out of the story?
Have you ever felt overlooked by those you respect? Or forgotten by your close friends? Or maybe, you’ve even been in a church setting, and everyone seems to be in such a good place – when you are really struggling? I know this has been me at times.
Well, in this passage from the Bible (an account retold by one of Jesus’s friends, John), we find a very similar situation. Jesus has risen from the dead, and has appeared to a number of his friends and followers. However one man, Thomas, wasn’t there when Jesus appeared to the rest of his inner circle. I don’t know whether Thomas decided to pop out to Londis for a pint of milk, or there was some more serious reason he wasn’t with the other disciples that day, but it kind of takes FOMO to a whole new level, doesn’t it? Missing an appearance of the risen saviour of the world? And now, as a result, Thomas is struggling with doubt.
Since choosing to follow Jesus at the age of 14, I (like many other Christians) have struggled with doubt. One of my favourite topics to read about and discuss is whether Christianity is likely to be true or not. I know that on my journey through intellectual doubt, I’ve found resources like There Is Hope to be incredibly helpful. I’d strongly suggest that anyone interact with a range of resources discussing the arguments for and against Christianity.
However, I’m not convinced that intellectual doubt was what Thomas was wrestling with that day. New York Pastor Jon Tyson [13] points out that Thomas knew that following Jesus in his context would be incredibly costly, and so Thomas (kind of justifiably) wants some sort of evidence if he’s going to live that costly life.
I wonder whether you realise, it can be costly being a Christian at times. I know that, for me, there have been many times when I’ve asked:
“God, why did you let that happen to me/them?”
“God, why has this awful situation still not changed?”
“God, I tried to live in the way you want, and it was really difficult and painful, and I’ve still not seen any real benefit…what’s going on?”
Is this unusual? Is this just me?
No.
No doubt isn’t just a normal part of being a Christian. Doubt is a normal part of being human.
Everybody doubts. People doubt all sorts of things. Politicians doubt life-long political convictions and allegiances. Professionals doubt their chosen career path and reassess their options. People experience doubts in even the most stable relationships. Atheists doubt their atheism, or at least admit there’s a degree of strength to some of the arguments they disagree with [14] [15].
But what does Jesus say to our doubt? Well let’s see what he says to Thomas – look at verses 26 and 27:
“26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”” – John 20:26-27 (NIV)
How does Jesus respond to Thomas’s doubts? He speaks directly to them!
In your doubting, you are not pushed away.
You are invited to come as you are, to explore, to ask questions, to look on Jesus scars, to know that he loves you.
I find it particularly poignant that, despite the doors being locked (probably out of fear of the authorities), the risen Jesus walks through the walls to be among them. Even when we least expect it, or are deeply afraid, Jesus is able to reveal himself to us.
What is Thomas’s response to all this? Verse 28:
28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” – John 20:28 (NIV)
Thomas’s questioning takes him from a place of doubt, into radical faith. And this isn’t just good news for Thomas, it’s good news for us too. Former Pope, Gregory the Great, put it like this: “In some ways Thomas’ doubt is more profitable to us than disciples’ faith.” [13]
I’ve certainly found that to be true. In my doubt, it’s evidence for the resurrection that I come back to again and again. Very succinctly, here are four pieces of evidence I personally find most compelling:
1. There are seventeen 1st Century letters and documents, which tell us that the disciples were claiming that Jesus rose from the dead. Some were written within 25 years of Jesus resurrection. For any historical event of that period, this is a huge number of original sources. [16], [17], [18]
2. The Bible includes an early creed (1 Corinthians 15:3-8), which claims that Jesus died for sin, and then appeared alive to over 500 people. The latest anyone will claim this creed was written is 10 years after Jesus’s death. Many estimates say a couple of years, or even a matter of months [18], [19]. Legends and embellishment of true events do not take place over a matter of months and years, they take generations. People who were actually present would simply have been around to challenge the content of the creed if it had been false. It makes no sense to fabricate these claims.
3. People changed their minds about Jesus after he rose from the dead. Jesus’s brother James wasn’t a disciple during Jesus’s ministry, but he went on to become a church leader in Jerusalem after the resurrection appearances (see James’s Epistle, and Galatians 1:18-19). What sort of evidence would it take for your sibling to convince you they are the Messiah?
And actually, all early Christians from a Jewish background (including all the disciples) changed their mind too. The idea of God dying was deeply offensive to them, and the concept of one person rising from the dead wasn’t in their thinking [20].
4. All the disciples underwent immense personal transformation to start the early church. Uneducated people, without expectation of travel, went on to preach the news across the Roman empire; to live incredibly costly lives of sacrifice; and then to die for their faith [20]. What is the outcome? A church of over 2.3 billion people today [21], [22].
Nowhere do we see this transformation more clearly in the life of Thomas. I personally think it is grossly unfair when we use the name “Doubting Thomas.” Thomas doubted. But Thomas was a disciple, an early church father, a martyr, a missionary – he was the only disciple to take the good news outside of the Roman empire.
So, what’s the application of all this?
Thomas’s doubts did not define him.
If you put your faith in Jesus, then your doubts don’t define you – Jesus does.
I urge you again: come as you are, explore, ask questions, look on Jesus scars, know that he loves you.
See the next blog post, ‘Is There Hope for My Story?’ where we’ll be exploring how Jesus’s resurrection brings hope to our life stories.
References
[13]
J. Tyson, "Seeing Jesus Through Doubt," Church of the City New York, 8th May 2022. [Online]. Available: https://www.church.nyc/wk3-seeing-jesus-through-doubt. [Accessed 29th August 2022].
[14]
C. Hitchens, "Christopher Hitchens Impressed With The Fine Tuned Universe Argument," Grasping the Nettle - Youtube, 14th June 2021. [Online]. Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL3wwlh5KS0. [Accessed 29th August 2022].
[15]
D. Doane, Director, Collision - Clip Obtained Through Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDJ9BL38PrI. [Film]. United States.2009.
[16]
M. Licona, "What are the Primary Sources for Jesus’ Resurrection?," Houston Baptist Univerity, 3rd June 2016. [Online]. Available: https://hbu.edu/news-and-events/2016/06/03/primary-sources-jesuss-resurrection/#:~:text=Our%20primary%20sources%20include%20some,Jesus%27%20resurrection%20was%20being%20proclaimed.. [Accessed 29th August 2022].
[17]
A. Wilson, If God, Then What?, Nottingham: Inter-Varsity Press, 2012.
[18]
D. Allison and J. Bass, Composers, Is there historical evidence for the bodily resurrection of Jesus?. [Sound Recording]. Unbelievable Podcast - Premier Christian Radio. 2022.
[19]
L. Strobel, "The Evidence Appearance - Interview with Gary Habermas, PhD, DD," in The Case for Christ, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Zondervan, 1998, pp. 243-261.
[20]
T. Keller, The Reason for God, Hodder and Stoughton, 2008.
[21]
C. Hackett and D. McClendon, "Christians remain world’s largest religious group, but they are declining in Europe," Pew Research Center, 5th April 2017. [Online]. Available: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/04/05/christians-remain-worlds-largest-religious-group-but-they-are-declining-in-europe/. [Accessed 29th August 2022].
[22]
H. Sherwood, "How many believers are there around the world?," The Guardian, 27th August 2018. [Online]. Available: https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/aug/27/religion-why-is-faith-growing-and-what-happens-next. [Accessed 29th August 2022].
Matt Brydon
Matt is an Aerospace Engineer based in Bristol. He's passionate about building a church which is authentic and seeker friendly. He's also a fan of distance running and hiking.